Things you should never, ever, ever, ever do.
1. Don't ever screw up the Annual Report. Nobody ever forgets it. 25 years after the fact, some guy will stop you in Budapest and say "hey, aren't you the guy that jacked the annual report?'
2. Don't ever leave a birdie putt short. You moron. You already beat the hole! Why did you leave the putt short? You moron.
3. Don't ever reply to a client email after drinking with your pals. Bad idea. Expensiveregrettable (one word) Very bad idea.
4. Don't ever drive into the sun. Nothing good happens when you drive into the sun.
5. Don't ever print 3.6 million direct mail pieces without checking the phone number. TWICE. Just don't do it. Just, don't ever do that.
6. Don't ever drink whiskey out of a round bottle. It will always roll out from under your seat when the cops pull you over. Choose a square one.
7. Don't ever start believing your own PR. If you're that pathetic, you're toast.
8. Don't ever show up naked anywhere. It will never work out the way you thought.
9. Don't ever think just one more drink is fine. It's not fine and neither are you. You've jumped straight past loudmouth, right into retarded.
10. Don't ever forget to tell your mom you love her. She's the only reason you don't do all the stupid things listed above.
Comments
AWESOME.
Round bottles suck.
Hilarious and true all at the same time. Brilliant! Sage advice.
Regarding item #8... What if one's "freelance" gig requires one to do so? Just asking.
Don't take the client's word that the phone number is correct, either. Actually pick up a phone and dial it.
#2. So true along with a few other rules of golf.
Unfortunately I'm guilty on too many counts;
2,3,4, slight variations on 5 & 6, and 9 and 10. Let's see ... that means I'm good on 3 out of 10.
#11. Don't gamble on a fart.
I have to say, I truly enjoyed reading this. I'm a public relations student at UNT and it's inspiring to know that there are "real" professionals out there in the industry. People who can get the work done with excellence and still remain people instead of worker bees. or bs, according to you.
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