1. Don't ever screw up the Annual Report. Nobody ever forgets it. 25 years after the fact, some guy will stop you in Budapest and say "hey, aren't you the guy that jacked the annual report?'
2. Don't ever leave a birdie putt short. You moron. You already beat the hole! Why did you leave the putt short? You moron.
3. Don't ever reply to a client email after drinking with your pals. Bad idea. Expensiveregrettable (one word) Very bad idea.
4. Don't ever drive into the sun. Nothing good happens when you drive into the sun.
5. Don't ever print 3.6 million direct mail pieces without checking the phone number. TWICE. Just don't do it. Just, don't ever do that.
6. Don't ever drink whiskey out of a round bottle. It will always roll out from under your seat when the cops pull you over. Choose a square one.
7. Don't ever start believing your own PR. If you're that pathetic, you're toast.
8. Don't ever show up naked anywhere. It will never work out the way you thought.
9. Don't ever think just one more drink is fine. It's not fine and neither are you. You've jumped straight past loudmouth, right into retarded.
10. Don't ever forget to tell your mom you love her. She's the only reason you don't do all the stupid things listed above.
