So the other day I’m enjoying a little
snack, wiping my mouth with one of Starbucks’ signature brown and green
napkins, when I see it. A friendly little fine-print note:
“Made from 100% recycled fibers…”
Okay…recycling is good. It’s not like
it used to be someone else’s napkin, right?
“…with at least 40% post-consumer
material…”
It was
someone else’s napkin? Okay…remain calm. I’m sure they used some kind of
disinfecting process.
“…in a bleach-free process.”
What? I put my MOUTH on this! It was
probably a white napkin the first time around. Ih. Who knew the "green initiative" would come to this? What next? Picketers defending the rights of bacteria? Protesting the use of Lysol?
Despite this startling revelation, I
know I’ll still go to Starbucks. Why? Because according to H. G. Wells, when Martians invade the Earth, germs will be the only thing that can stop them. Plus it's the only place you can get a Caramel Apple Spice.