Cabinet renovations began at my house this week which required me to empty all of my cabinets. I moved into my house almost four years ago. I have never, in that time, claimed to be someone who fully utilizes my kitchen. I most often use cereal bowls and spoons, occasionally spicing things up with a cookie sheet. Imagine my surprise when I uncovered some of the following items.

First, let's examine how much stuff came out of my kitchen. After I took this, I added about half as much to it, all but covering the floor. For someone who claims to not use their kitchen – why was it so packed with things?

Exhibit #1

I do not have parties. I do not host dinners. Why do you suppose that I have ten wine glasses? I think I have used four of these less than five times.

Exhibit #2

Since when do unused artwork, two dozen bottles of fragrance oils and a toothbrush holder go together? You can't even play One of These Things is Not Like the Other with them because in no way are they correlated. Bigger question: what the heck are they doing in my kitchen cabinet?

Exhibit #3

This was quite possibly my favorite find: a shiny, copper colored bathtub full of fluorescent alphabet magnets. There are so many questions here... For starters – why did I keep a copper colored bathtub? It took me awhile, but I remembered it was a Christmas gift from about five years ago. The tub was full of bubble bath, and if I'm not mistaken, it used to have a teddy bear attached to it. Clearly, the bear didn't make the cut. But why do I have alphabet magnets? And why are they in the bathtub?